His Boots Now Stand Empty

In early December I went with Lois and Don to our Uncle Boyd's funeral, the last of the three brothers to pass away. The highlights for me were Afterglow singing, the stake president's speech (he among the younger children in my growing up neighborhood), and the fly-by at the cemetery. The stake president ended the funeral with a poem written by his wife. I tried my best to get a copy and finally -happy day- it arrived. You'll readily see why I wanted it.

His boots now stand empty – there by the back door.

His feet will not fill them to go do the chores.

Just one pair of many – worn out and long gone,

Yet his footsteps still echo in our hearts like a song.

His boots weren’t always gleaming – with a spit-polished shine.

The truth is, most often, they were covered with grime.

They climbed on the tractor, they hopped in the truck,

They shared space with shovels digging trenches in muck.

By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat thy bread,

Seemed eternally woven into every boot tread.

His boots traced his pattern – hoeing row after row,

He rose before sunrise, to feel morning’s fresh glow.

Yes, his boots oft sat idle but his feet did not rest.

Boots simply wouldn’t do, when he dressed in his best.

They were frequently traded for dress shoes with laces,

As he went forth to serve, standing firm in holy places.

A good man, a great man, a giant of a guy,

In boots he loved working – a twinkle in his eye.

Many pairs of boots served him throughout his great life,

As his dedicated labors served the Lord, his children, his wife.

Besides boots, his feet were shod with the gospel of peace,

That knowledge sustains us, in the days of our grief.

He thrust in his sickle with all of his might,

Now he’s secured his salvation with all of its light.

Yes, his boots now stand empty, there by the back door,

But his footsteps will linger in our hearts evermore.

In memory of Boyd L. Fugal by Jill Taylor Ringger,

Stake President Mark Ringger’s wife.

Slightly modified by Gail F. Adamson

to “fit” all the Fugal and Sons boot-wearers. 2011

It never ceases to amaze me how interconnected spiritual awareness and utter despair can be. No, I'm not saying I'm manic-depressive, I'm saying take a look at James Chapter 1. The NIV version:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

13When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.18

Now I only quote the NIV to get your attention. And these are my illustrative experiences of late.

We moved from one church building to another half a block away. I suppose they though it would be nice for us to pass more of our neighbors as we sally forth, since those on one church's side of the road now cross over, and vise versa. Especially on a day like today when I fell trying to skirt the extra half-block's black ice. The old organ was an Allen digital. The new organ is an Allen Protege. Not that it isn't digital as well, but I was warned it needed to be figured out. First I had to find a manual as the envelope in the bench was empty and none of the clerk's offices were forthcoming. According to the manual you have acquired the most advanced electronic organ ever built, one that harnesses a sophisticated custom computer system to create and control beautiful organ sound. Then I discovered none of our more accomplished organists would be available to play it the first morning we'd meet there. So then I found a willing novice, which turned out was no small feat, and after I read the manual (and invited her to read it which she never got around to), we paid the chapel a visit. And another visit. And another visit. One nice thing about the new building is there are no locks on the chapel doors, so if a car is there, you're in like Flynn. Well I suppose that was not quite the idiom to pick... (just waking you up from your slumber). Suffice it to say the regular organist in 10 minutes figured out more than we did in hours. Today, his second Sunday, he blew us all away with his snazzy style. So all that frustration culminated in a world made better than the old. And I am prepared to be of actual assistance in that regard when we have the inevitable sub, having scaled that mountain as best as can a former violinist.

(An Allen Protege)

Same deal with choir of late. Came down to the point we'd have only one practice for HC Sunday and the director hadn't picked a hymn, though repeatedly requested. So I studied it out and picked one for her. She wanted to transition a verse to another hymn in that meter and wanted me to align the key (the morning of!). I don't have a printer so I walked her through it on the phone. Somehow she showed up with it in the original key, so can that idea. I'd worked hard doing all the other cut/paste things she wanted done to it, to make it as friendly for the single practice as possible. So the choir is disgruntled and she's passing the buck ("Gail picked it"), and also complaining about the lack of transitional notes re another meter choice she'd made. She'd told me to get the pianist to figure that one out and I had taken the enlarged version I'd made (he has vision problems) to him five days before (his eyes are old like mine), duly noting her request and he hadn't done one thing about it and announced to one and all he didn't know how to do that. Sigh. So I'm feeling pretty discouraged and unhappy about all the kill-the-messenger daggers I'm collecting (several of which I've not mentioned). The day arrives, we sing, it goes much better than anyone could have expected, the HCman gets up and announces that we made him cry and how did we know that he picked that very hymn to base his speech upon. Yes!

I think part of the successful end to these stories has to do with more than persevering and trials of faith and not being deceived. I truly think Heavenly Father blesses us when we give him the chance to see that we personally have upped the ante (I know, I know!) as far as obedience goes. I had the distinct pleasure of being invited to lead the music at Grace's baptism. So preparing for that and witnessing it, I am sure, influenced the outcome of how things went in my life the next day. I always bask in the joy of hearing my sisters and their husbands' testimonies. (Janeil and Eldon gave the baptism and holy ghost lessons.)
Another ante of influence relates to the fact that I do really well at reading the scriptures daily, then my excessive work schedule rolls around for several months each fall and not only does scripture reading fall by the wayside, so does wanting to pick it back up! I also need desperately to get more exercise but my knees are shot and I procrastinate what needs be done otherwise to accomplish it.

I actually don't mind getting old, or being old, but I do mind feeling it. Having my birthday acknowledged (office decorations) reminds me of all of that.

Finally an idea came to me - to do some floor exercising with little knee impact and listen to the Book of Mormon on tape while I'm doing it. I'm actually loving it! The idea came as a tender mercy. As well as finding out today that my next three special numbers and my music outline for all but one selection for the rest of January and February have been approved! Yes! (If you knew the struggle surrounding that process in our particular ward, you'd add a lot more exclamation points!)

And so I count that as joy as well, and feel His awareness of me as a result of all these events. There is nothing better in life that being able to feel God's awareness. And knowing that He's there for us, both in the thick (heartbreaking) and thin (mundane) of things. And so if having to deal with the heartbreaking/mundane trial part gets me there, I'm more than willing.

Lastly, I need to add one more facet in all of this already too long blog, which in many ways Defines The Joy. I'm just as good as anyone else, if not better, at failure. When you make a choice to change something and Heaven Father's included in the process and confirms it by the awareness I speak of above, you can count on it a whole lot more than when He's absent from the goal. I well remember several for-the-better choices I finally made in my life and the struggle evaporated courtesy of including Him in the process.

So to make a very long story short: Count the Joy!

Post Christmas Tinkering (turn off playlist)

Recorded 12/27/10 (11 days shy of 18 months).

I edited this (took off the end where she moved off screen) and couldn't get it to post. No failure message just the clock running forever. So then I saved it as a QuickTime, no luck posting it as such either. So then I zipped it, no luck. So then I downloaded it on Vemeo. Worked but then I noticed the clarity is lacking, and it pitches up for some reason in all of them except the original. So I'm back to the original, warts and all. Well extra warts and all which are less bothersome than the conversion alternatives.

And just for the record, watching this reminds me that I am not as smart as I sometimes think I am (in many more ways than one!). I see now how interested she was in seeing herself (in the beginning - I did "get" that at the end) and should have pursued it more. And how she tried to follow the pot boiling concept and I'm stuck on the doorbell. Makes me want to "record" my whole life, watch it again and get to have a do-over. As it is, I think judgment day (for me) is going to be a long one....

In the meantime, Raygen, you are a precious toddler of God, and it was my pleasure to play with you, even if I'm a little slow on the uptake.

Went downtown tonight, courtesy of the Scarboroughs

(first time I've been downtown in years),

dinner at Taqueria Canonita in The Venetian.

I actually thought the sky was real until it dawned on me

that it was past dusk when we drove in!

We had warm chips with guacamole and salsa,

shared Cazuela de Camarones Y Almejas

(grilled skewered shrimp and clams in the shell, with blackened tomatoes,

Marisco broth and tomatillos with corn, white rice, and grilled bread),

and Tres Leches for dessert (sponge cake soaked with three different milks,

strawberry jelly, raspberry coulis,

topped with vanilla ice cream on a bed of diced cantaloupe,

decorated with a single raspberry, single blackberry and mint).

We watched the gondolas throughout the meal,

and listened to the boat(wo)men serenading their customers

and us in Italian as they floated by.

Then on to Phantom of the Opera at The Palazzo next door.

Jewel and I saw it in Salt Lake City years ago, her birthday request.

This one even grander as you can imagine Vegas being what it is.

We sat right behind the chandelier which came crashing down.

The Salt Lake crashing version was also spectacular

but we were a lot closer to this one.

Tons of special effects including several trap doors.

The place was packed - a sea of people

on the grand staircase when we exited.

Magic when we left as well.

Jewel had wanted to valet park to save my knee but they were full up.

We got in a row of about five cars waiting for people to pull out -

Jewel passed them all, pulled around the corner and snapped up

a spot right in front of the elevators.

Wonderful memories. Thanks Jewel and Johnny!!

Christmas Las Vegas Style

We'll, Hayd needn't have worried -

he must have been pretty high on the nice list

for Santa did 'deliver.' But I'm ahead of myself.

This was his school Christmas artwork.

The top ornament was made by his teacher, so picture another 23!

The other two ornaments were this year's annuals for Hayden and Raygen.

Jewel's visiting teachers came Friday morning

so their gift was the first on her list,

chocolate-coated carrot cake balls.

Then various other projects including

the dough for Christmas breakfast cinnamon rolls,

homemade pizzas for Christmas Eve dinner,

gingerbread men for Santa and chow for the raindeer,

Hayd's plate he writes his list on each year,

Despicable Me and the new and improved Horton Hears a Who,

Norma's crying Santa story just before bed,

honey-baked spiral ham for Christmas dinner

with green beans and cheesy creamy hash browns.

Various people in/out and round about!

I asked Hayden if he'd made a Santa list at his Dad's -

"of course not - the plate's at Mom's house."

Proof-positive that Santa showed up:

Jewel's blog recounts the family presents and mine awaits -

Dinner Monday night at the Venetian overlooking the gondolas,

then on to Phantom at The Palazzo.

Might I say ... wow now! ... and double wow later!!

Wishing all of you the very best holiday wishes!

Ruby & Neil Nursery Rhymes

Dawned on me one more possibility re finding the nursery rhymes tape. It's a Festivus miracle! (Sorry for the beep at the beginning - I got an email notice, didn't realize it would be so loud. Also, the picture's not very clear, but it's as good as it gets. This version of it that is.) Now keep in mind these are spontaneous recitings from memory from both of them. (You may want to avoid explaining to your wee ones what a word or two means. At least until they are old enough to understand the lack of PC-ness in those days. And I have to admit, my very most favorite book was Little Black Sambo which glowed in the dark so I spent a lot of time with it in the dark utility closet, perched on the canister vacuum.... The same vacuum I borrowed for sleigh-riding one year when I couldn't find my sleigh.)

Ruby Ordella Williams Fugal

Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death (1981). And also her mother’s birthday. And therein lies a tale. Often she would tell me – well, “often” as in several times over the course of a number of years – that she’d had a very vivid dream and in it her mother ‘came to get her’ when it was her time to die (and it was that vivid she believed it would happen). Me, being the skeptic that I am, didn’t think there could be any possibility knowing that Mom’s father told a tale about making a pact with his wife to ‘come get him’ at a specific time should she die first (and vice versa). [She did not show up.] Now, I suppose one could compare the relative merits of the two likelihoods, though plainly irrelevant to actual reality (as comparisons can often be meaningless), but were that the case, mom’s “wins,” hands down. Plus the confirming actuality that she did die on her mother's birthday is good for skeptics like me.

When I posted my Dad’s recitations on the day of his passing in September, Janeil asked me to post this one on Mom’s. It's a favorite long scriptural quote of hers and it’s true, I heard her recite it numerous times. It's on the same tape as the September posts (recorded in St. George) and Norma introduces it. I also wanted to post something with Mom’s voice and somewhere there’s an old tape of the two of them reciting nursery rhymes to Alan but I’ve searched high/low, and that one will have to be for another day. Assuming I ever find it.

Getting to know one's grandkids better is such a blessing. Got to spend last Christmas with Hazel and Lucy, and now Thanksgiving with Hayden and Raygen.

Raygen is almost 17 months. She says "hi", over and over. And "MaaaMa!", over and over. It's the first word out of her mouth when she wakes up each morning and after each nap. She may not want to be laid down, but the instant she hits the sheets, she's quiet and out like a light. She also says "I luv you" when you say goodnight or goodbye (as she snuggles her head on dad's shoulder), "please" and "thank you." She duplicates her brother's mannerisms, and says "Whoa!" with his inflected tone. She LOVES to "play" and would hang out in Hayden's tent with him indefinitely. She reminds me of the cutie "Boo" in Monsters Inc., the way she laughs and zips here and there. And is known as "Booges."

Hayden is precious and five years old. I was worrying about my leaves underneath the snowstorm and he said we should leave right then and he'd help me. (He means it.) He likes to play building castles with me, watch movies, color, play Christmas computer games such as http://resources.kaboose.com/games/santa-flibriks.html, play Disney dominoes and ask me what we're going to do next. During the course of all of the above, he says the funniest things. Such as:

Jewel has a potato scrubber that looks like a potato and had "real" (looking) eyes. After using it T-day, Hayden noticed that the eyes were gone. He said, "Mom probably took them off. She hates eyeballs. She wants to take mine out (stated very matter-of-factly)."

Jewel was tired after the T-day festivities (which were a tiny speck short of perfect - it's so much fun to cook with her) and was staring into space. Hayden said, "Mom looks like she's dead." Long pause. "She IS dead. We'll have to put her in the attic." Me, after the eyeball comment I'm thinking horror movies and blanch. He notes my reaction and explains, "Like the toys in Toy Story 3."

Jewel uses the stools up-side-down at night to block off the dog that stays downstairs. (He actually could shove them aside rather easily - they're a "reminder" to behave.) Hayden and I were moving them back to the bar to eat breakfast and he says, "These stools are old." I say, "They're not much older than you. Are you old?" "No!" (Appalled.)

Hayden started singing, "Santa Claus is coming to town...," and stopped to ask me if I knew that song. I sang, "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good..." and he said, "How does he know if you've been good?" I sang, "He's keeping a list, he's checking it twice...." Pause, and then he says, worriedly, "I'm afraid I'm going to be on that list!"

Craziness at work. Again.

I guess we have a good excuse

since we were knee deep in Halloween festivities.

The boss hung up a full-sized skeleton in a black cape

with arms outstretched.

Oddly we all noticed that when we're in there

having a conversation with her,

I'd drift back into it.

I said I must be needing a hug

and it was the closest I'd ever get.

Which prompted Colleen to snap a picture

to send out to all the school kitchen managers

and clerks captioned,

"Gail's Not Lonely Anymore,"

and with the announcement "Gail meets Al."

Which caused one of them to respond,

"Wedding bells?"

I said to answer, "Over Gail's dead body."

Then the field supervisor arrived,

all decked out for Halloween,

and she snapped the next picture,

which she sent out captioned,

"Love Triangle," and says,

"WillaMEANa tries to steal Al from Gail!"

(His name is William.)

At the end of the day I wished them all

a Happy Halloween,

and said that mine was looking up ...

now I'd met Al. "(If Bill would just go home!)"

Bill, of course, being bold enough to dress up like that,

also hammed it up

when we went to one of the schools

to document their celebration.

It was literally chaos when we showed up.

First Snow

27"/Intel Core i7 Processor (Yes it's very fast!)

I "had" to buy a new chair. Whoever built this desk was a moron. To get a chair that fits both the desk and the typing stand is impossible. And whoever sits at the desk part, even if the chair fits, would have to be very tall with itsy humeruses unless of course she also likes having her chin on the desk as she uses it. It was a "fire sale" ... Norma had a desk that fit on this wall (in a different place entirely) and as they were winding down (and far over budget) she insisted they build one and attach it to the wall. Hence the slap-together-ness and who cares if it defies logic.

The restoration company actually called me. They didn't remember disassembling any charred desk and I was the "character reference" to its existence. Well I remember typing in that corner on the old IBM Selectric II.

I'm using the typing stand part now because of what's on it! We got new computers at work. This one is 24" and my new one is a 27" - the biggest iMac they make. (Yes, the techies are even jealous - only one of them has a computer this fast.) Our techie said we should buy our old ones. I said it was against the regs. He said no, they've changed, we should inquire, they'd look up the value and that's what we'd pay which would be a heck of a lot cheaper than getting same thing any other way. Works for me!

Turned out, however, that they're only doing that for folks who retire, or for folks that buy the older or lower line Macs. So I said I'd retire. They said how about you take it home and buy it when you do retire. Not only will it be cheaper by then, I may be able to buy the 27-incher by then. Meanwhile, I have free techie service! Works for me!

Norma's Tribute

This is the P.S. to the prior post, Neil Y. Fugal's testimony (turn off playlist and hear Norma's Tribute below).

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!' Robert Browning

~

Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December; But the days grow short when you reach September. When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame; One hasn't got time for the waiting game. Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few – September, November – And these few precious days I'll spend with you.

Norma's Tribute from Gail Adamson on Vimeo.

I well remember Daddy singing this song to Norma that last week of his life. And reciting Psalm of Life. And many more. (And by the way, it’s the Bing Crosby version he’d have listened to, as I still have it, but memorized possibly after Frank Sinatra's version. Which reminds me of the time I said I really liked “My Way,” and he pointed out that I wasn’t here on this earth to do things “My Way.” Occasionally it is picked for a funeral number which, since his comment, makes me wince.)

September 26, 1986. The day my Dad died. It breaks my heart, even now, but underneath I do acknowledge it is intertwined with memories I’d never want to forget.

I place the experience of witnessing the last weeks of his earthy presence at the top of my treasured memories, along with the spring I was truly converted to the gospel, and the summer I studied the church's 12 steps manual.

You might think that odd, but he showed exactly what he was made of in his dying – no need to go home to set a few things straight, no lamenting, no fear. He bore his testimony both in how he lived and in how he died.

I asked him if he would give me a blessing as he never had, and then immediately felt guilty for asking. He couldn’t kneel nor even sit up, but he put his hands on my head while I knelt and among many other things asked me to strive to obtain a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I thought he should know I already had one, but the summer of the 12 steps manual proved me wrong.

He was larger than life. And how does one get “there”? Honor. Valor. Dedication. Respect. Patience. Geniality.

Neil's Testimony

I invite you to turn off my personal playlist and hear Neil Y. Fugal speak. “Enhanced” unfortunately by the drone of a cassette tape in an ancient player. I imagine Norma must have requested he speak slowly and distinctly, as normally his speech clipped along quicker than this, even when reciting.

Neil's Testimony from Gail Adamson on Vimeo.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! –

For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal.

Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each tomorrow Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting, And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle, In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle! Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant! Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act, – act in the living Present! Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us, We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing, With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to labor and to wait.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Interesting that he says "Finds" in the third stanza above. And "lonesome" in the second from the end.

(Following this poem, you'll find his testimony a little harder to hear but upping the recording volume I'm unable to offset the distortion.)

Paraprosdokians

More laughter at work today, passing these around:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

4. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

7. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

8. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

9. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

10. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

11. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

12. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

13. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

14. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

15. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

16. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

17. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

19. I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

20. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

21. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

22. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

23. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

24. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

25. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

26. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

27. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

28. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

29. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

30. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

31. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

32. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

33. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

34. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

35. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

36. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

37. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

38. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

39. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

40. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

41. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

42. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

43. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

44. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

45. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.